Guess who's back (back)? Back again (gain), randoms back (back), tell the rats... Tell the rats, tell the rats, tell the rats... Yep, the random is back, and it's as friendly and random as ever! Matured and roasted to perfection! The random before, mehhh... Not roasted quite right. Bland, funny and a little goofy. But this... No, this... 100% pure random that calls upon the Gods for praise and secret creamer! The moooooose... Squirrel out

#throwbackthursday Rat Style!

WARNING: The following post is a little gnomey on the political side of things...

Oh my how times have changed...don't even get me started on that great big ole turkey there. It so happens to be Thursday and the pie oh so appropriately is thinking about the good ole ratty days of the crew here and how much love she still has in her heart for furry creatures alike no matter how long it has been or how many moons apart we may all be.

That being said, today I was watching the news and I don't think I need to get into details here but certain people and certain things that were said and done inspired me to partake in an old sporktacular past time. Writing song parodies or "filks" which is a fancy new word I learned from a friend who is in the Society for Creative Anachronism (it's pretty rad, if you're not familiar, I suggest utilizing our ole pal Google).

Anyways, without further ado, I present to you Our (Millenial) Generation (with a little teenage-inspired angst ;) )

He's got a big white ass and he doesn't pay his taxes

I'm afraid for our generation

This big ugly cow is making his way to Moscow

I'm afraid for our generation

When foreign affairs are really quite a scare

I'm afraid for our generation

I hope his presidency dies before he makes us all cry

I'm afraid for our generation

Our generation

Our generation, baby

Take me to the land of maple!

As some know or do not know I am a avid gamer, I have a love for world of Warcraft and other console games. It came to me tonight during a team match while playing Hero's of the storm things not to say to your team via chat or even voice chat they are as follows.


1. Screaming LEEEEEROOOOOYYYYY JEEEEENKINS while charging into a mass barrage of enemies (you may live or you may die)


2. Saying I am mounting thy battle moose and now thus charging into thy enemy, victory shall not be ours or mine take me to the sweet land of maple!( you are either very dead by now or in a very sticky situation)

3. Welcome to world of Warcraft the closest you well ever get to game of thrones choose your faction wisely

4.Where is the any button!

5. If you are a rouge please refrain from saying or typing out Stab,Stab, Stab,Vanish!.....Stab

now none of these are silly at all but generally somewhat so I would like to say sorry but remember



when in doubt don't be a tool or a fool unless your a goblin in WoW then things could get messy and explody!



I well be back later to come up with a better post this one kinda is not so good ....sorry low exp on this post and bad rewards!

Prepare ze Battle Moose!!!!!

Hello all my lovely ratties, I hope life has been treating all of you well a late night thought came to mind many months back.


I was asked a question which typically was what if we went back to near olden times what would the Canadian army be?



    Let me answer this in the best way possible!!!!!!!



Tanks are now battle moose, let them charge into battle with their mighty moose sound and unrelenting power! oh and their antlers are huge have you seen those things they not only work great as a battering ram they make a great coat rack.


What about the air force you say or airplanes?


Well my fellow folks bring on the Canadian geese, here they come a honking but watch out! you don't want to get caught up in their airborne droppings! (Guess what it isn't snow!!!!!)



What about the navy seals I almost forgot about that.....don't you worry we have our otters for that and for the special unit never fear we have Seal team six! (which really is a bunch of highly trained seals with lasers attached to thy head)



now for the last bit do we have spies oh yes we do they are a highly covert type of highly trained squirrels the only problem so far is they forget where they have stored the plans and easily get distracted by shiny objects! back to the drawing board


I hope this post brightens your day and may the rat blog be with you!


Much love xsilentwolfx

In time we all grow.....I am wolf!

This blog was started a long time ago a lot of us have grown and have branched off in life so the posts have stopped or become rare as they come....this being said


No matter the walks in life we all have each other time and again in bad times and the good.


It's thanksgiving here in Canada come Monday mind you be thankful for all that we all friends family our spouses anything


I well try my best to post when I can but life get's in the way at times



I love each and every one of you that are a part of this crew



for I am wolf and we are friends

I have a pot of coffee....I have a pot of coffee.....and you can't has it

Yes I have my pot of coffee my cup of coffee it's go-go time, or in the magical land of wuff it's time for spazzmatic random time. Now what does this entitle any viewers of this blog if there are still viewers that is lets see here absolutely nothing..... Wrong answer this is full of sunshine,rainbows and unicorns and maybe the odd woodland creature have I already mentioned unicorns? 

 come on down to the live action sporking range where nobody judges you on your sporking skills, or the size of your spork! A little sidetracked I am now to get to actual mayhem remember my little ditty the other day? I remembered even more (insert insane laughter here)

 Hey little sporky what have you done? 

Hey little sporky who's the only one? 

Hey little sporky who's your sporkingman? 

Hey little sporky who's the one you want?

 Hey little sporky shot gun! It's a nice day to spork again. 

It's a nice day for a spork wedding. 

It's a nice day to spork again. 

 Hey little sporky who is it you're with?

 Hey little sporky what's your spork and bork?

 Hey little sporky shot gun 

 Hey little sporky who's your sporkingman?

 Hey little sporky shot gun!

 It's a nice day to spork again 

 It's a nice day for a spork wedding 

It's a nice day to spork again 

 That is about sporking it....this is silent signing out

Yar sporks!!

Come one, come all! All ye happy little rats in fancy hats! Come to the house of plentiful shit tickets! The land if milk and sporks! Were the root beer drizzles like warm black coffee! The coffee gods, oh the almighty coffee gods! Fill my cup, and never let me stir with a lollipop and never let thy coffee get cold or room temp! Never let the tasty sweet flavor of the demon's chocolate chips curse my coffee's flavor! I know you all missed this. Don't deny it! Squirrel out!

Holy flying fish on a stick....

It's been forever and a flippen day since this blog has seen the light at the end of the tunnel. Now let's see here most of us are now by now In our early or late 20's ish....I say that because half the time I forget my own age, wait what's my age again? Most of us have grown, most of us have entered the thing we all call the blender A.K.A real life and one thing for sure is yep I'm still a bit geeky or a lotta now come here all ye kittens and squirrels alike or should I have started this off with Ladies and gentle sporks may I have your attention please. There is no spork about it that this site has not been updated in a long....long galaxy far far away time but all we can do is try I'm sure half of the rat blog team are no longer checking this but eh no doubt aboot it eh? (get it okay fine some of us are canadian) hmm time for a little ditty how about.....Hey lil sporky, what have you done? Hey lil sporky, shotgun! It's a nice day for a spork wedding!!! I tend to spork things around a lot but who doesn't like a good sporking!!!! okay fine nobody fine... This is the one and only xsilentwolfx saying hello my lovelies

Hehe

Ah the random lengths I'll go to cheer my girlfriend up. She was pissed off at a doctor the other day, because he was talking down to her and all that crap, so when she called me and told me she had to do something (she did a couple weeks ago, I won't mention it) AGAIN, I went off on a random little hyper spurt. Now, I don't recall EVERYTHING I said, but this is just amusing, so much so I saved it. Enjoy! (I added quite a bit from the actual little rant I did on the phone)


Custom Port-os!

Want a convenient bathroom without the use of a bathroom? Tired of your bathrooms not having windows? Well, then we have a deal for you!

Custom Port-o-potties! Any size for any place! As long as you can fit into them, we'll make them! We have a strict policy though... Not all sizes fit all. Unlike pants, we're better. We don't rip! Unless you do!

Want a custom color? That's fine! We'll make it zebra patterned, camouflage, anything you'd like! Hey, if you're that type of person who likes to show off who you are, we can do all the flag colors, even the most vibrant to show your liberal or democratic neighbor that you don't give a flying unicorn turd! We'll even throw in a custom bumper sticker of your choice!

But that's not all! Come in today and we'll give you our ultimate discount! Buy one and get the second absolutely free! BUT WAIT! WAIT! Obtain those two and get another one half off! Children sized! Or, of your choice, it doesn't matter 'cause we're practically giving these things away at this point! However, the restriction for the get one free and half off, they will NOT I repeat, NOT be custom made. You'll get whatever is in the factory, sorry! So, if it has a giant ass on it, oops! If it has a giant penis on it, oh well! Like pressed hams? Well, neither do we! If that's on there, then you'll just have to deal with it won't you? No take backsies!



Anyway, hope you enjoyed that! I had four cups of coffee that day, so I was rather wired. X3

Too much caffeine

Bwahahahaha! *throws a little plastic egg, that splits into two* Wuffie I choose you! XD

I've had too much time to just... THINK. And the illegal caffeine in my squirrelly system isn't helping either! I took funny pictures in case they haven't been noticed or anything on Facebook yet. :D

One was inspired by the rapture, and the other was my mom. Wow, my mom is bad for my creative mind, I swear!

http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d74/AlexisSapphire06/?action=view&current=101_0166.jpg

Hehe! And the one my mom inspired...

http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d74/AlexisSapphire06/?action=view&current=101_0172.jpg

RANDOM LIVES OOOOOON! *chitters!* Caffeeeeeeeiiine!

Coffee random!

Caffeine puts the Zippity in my Doodah!

Coffee, COFFEE, coffee, coffee, coffee, COFFEE, coffee, coffee, COFFEE, COFFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Give me!!

WARNING: I cannot be held responsible for the things I say or do before the caffeine has fully made it to my blood stream.

-----

More to come later! X3

This just in...

I was talking to rikers arilla of littleton.....when I started thinking and typed this out.

I got it....mother nature has hit menopause the reason why Snow=sudden cold flash,WildFires=hot flashes,Earthquakes=Cramps,Tornados=some form of unwanted gastronomical events and Tsunamis = sudden fits of crying


her reply..


Mother Nature: Way of life? Or chaos? Her menopause has whirled out of control, and she has no more meds. The earthquakes are her massive cramps. Tsunamis are bawling spells. The wildfires are the bad heartburn and hot flashes. Blizzards are her chilly cold flashes. Tornados can be devistating tummy upsets: they don't happen often, but when they do they cause mayhem and destruction. Somebody get her some midol before we're all doomed!



Yep I went there....that is all hope all of you had a good easter

I knight Thee.......(random things said on facebook)

Julie:
I knight thee.....Rikers ardilla of littleton

Rica:
Littleton, huh? Funny... There's a Littleton in this state. X3; Why not ardilla of the acorns? Hazelnuts? And the non-dairy creamer!?

Julie:Because then it would be rikers ardilla of acornaazelnut of the non dairy creamer once formerly known as littleton and that's to much to type so Rikers ardilla of littleton it is ....or is it >.>

Rica:Lmao! I think that would be quite the mouthful and would be worthy of copy and paste

Julie:I swear once your mother reads my post insanity yet again she's going to confirm that yes....yes Rica has crazy friends or for the lack of better their all crazy....

Rica:Lol you said it not me. XDD I know my friends have screws loose. :P

Julie:wait you calling me crazy how dare you call me crazy you are rikers ardilla of littleton I thought you have a lil more manner then that oh how a brute thou are .......

also gravity why art thou such a bitch

...

Goodness gracious great berries of white yogurt! It's sour without the berries! Like it's been sitting out in the hot, hot sun! Like zombies that have been baking in the sun for a few hours. Rancid, very, very rancid! And with berries... I don't know if it truly helps mask the flavor any. The yogurt even has little raspberry hairs in it! ...Hairy yogurt. Ew!

STUPIIIID!

"You're so stuuupiiiiiid!!"


Stupid people... Like those idiots who put their hands on a hot stove, yell ouch and then go and do it again? Idiots that can't be fixed with duct tape. The kind of stupid that melts duct tape in hot, hot summers in Phoenix, AZ. Yup... We're not dealing with any ordinary stupid. We're dealing with inbred stupidity. Stupid that's been dropped on its head one too many times to get dain bramage! (Quote my dad) Yep... The stupid of stupid...

The stupid you can't scrape off the sidewalk. The kind of stupid you find under your shoe, that's sticky and gross like bubble gum! The kind of stupid that makes us all feel 100% smarter by association... Even if we're miles away. We see somebody jay walking, and we feel almost like an astronaut for using the crosswalk!

Okay, I'm done. Really...lol

CAFFEINE! ...Only had one cup today. No more, no less. So caffeine is still in my system. Woo!

Zombies... They're... After me lucky charms! And you know what?

...I'm sure if you fed that rabbit some Trix he'd lay up. Puke, or die. Either way, share and he'll leave ya alone! Unless he's that mouse... Don't give a mouse a cookie or he'll raid your pantry and cupboards looking for more food until you have nothing left! NOTHIIIING!

And I've been watching too much Zim... Can ya tell? XD

I want something sweet... And wine! Mm wine sounds good only because there's no other alcohol in this entire house! DX

DON'T FEED THE RABBIT! DON'T FEED THE RABBIT! x.x

And don't hit a squirrel, you know every time you hit a squirrel a 40 year old nerd living in his mom's basement gets laid? THINK OF THE SQUIRRELS!!

SANITY BREAKER!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi,how's it going huh miss me oooo has the bloggers missed me....okay maybe rica I know she misses me and if she didn't then


NYAH you can not have my cinnamon waffles of nom or my toast or my other waffles....or my oatmeal.

you know what I got to say to most BAD LLAMA because even if we are all adults now living or working or going to school or all the above relax find a little time to post.


pssst shakey shakey rawr there is NO WAY out from this mad house

hmmm how about a little ditty....


I

Love Optical Situations That

Throughly Help Everything

Going Around Me Evolving


What did that not make any sense at all...psst here`s a hint read only the Capital
letters in the above possible mini haiku

Tip tip cheerio I shall be signing off now

Nut Spray

Prescription Flonase: Nut Deterrent (Nut Spray)

*it's being said in a Billy Maze sort of sale's pitch tone*

Deter any guy from wanting to expose his nuts, while in the process deterring other women from wanting to get within a five mile radius of said nuts that have been sprayed! It will, to another woman, (and smell a different odor to each individual) like something that they wouldn't want to smell!

Scents include, and are not limited to: Underarm pit, garbage, bad tacos, rotten hamburger meat, rotten 3 week old fish, feet, athlete's foot, poop, cow's rear, rotten garbage, etc!

Airport security; TSA will not want to get within five feet of you or less, because the best part about this stuff is, it deters everybody! Yes, you heard me, EVERYBODY! It's not used for just the men's testicles, but for everybody wanting to be left the hell alone!


(BEHIND THE INSIDE JOKE):

Prescription nasal spray to help with headaches, while wanting to buy assorted nuts also. Life ain't a bowl of assorted cashews, but nut deterrent also!

AND THAT'S NOT ALL!

Best for squirrels who don't want other pesky squirrels to attempt to steal their nuts! Just spray, and sit back and watch the fun unfold before your very eyes! NOBODY WILL WANT TO GET NEAR YOU NOR YOUR NUTS! Assuring you, that you'll have a full tree, or whatever for the upcoming winter, spring, sports event, etc.

BUY NOW FOR ONLY TEN DOLLARS!! (LITERALLY!!)

How would you handle a zombie invasion?

This is my solution.....

Step one throw some bread....if they grunt out GRAAAAAIIIINNNSSS I'm safe there only vegan

Step Two run to my gun cabinet and grab as many guns as I can with and as many ammo boxes I can shove into a corner

Step Three Grab coffee table and slam it against the door followed by a mass supply of duct tape....for umm vanity sakes

Step Four call Kiba and tell him to hurry up and get as many as he can out of Lonetiggs armory

Step Five if that Fails ....will when all else fails just blow it up again ....and again...till there is either certain death or a huge crater in the ground
__________________

Quick and simple solution

"Boob punch, all I'm saying," and I said, "Simple, quick and easy solution for everything. Can't fix it? Boob punch it! Can't throw it away? Boob punch it! Is it just flat out dull and annoying you? BOOOOB PUUUUUNCH!!"

...

OH GAWD I HAVE SINNED!!! ...DECAAAAAAF! ...But the coffee god still likes me, right? Right? ...I won't be put on the burner for it REALLY... Will I? x.x