Hehe

Ah the random lengths I'll go to cheer my girlfriend up. She was pissed off at a doctor the other day, because he was talking down to her and all that crap, so when she called me and told me she had to do something (she did a couple weeks ago, I won't mention it) AGAIN, I went off on a random little hyper spurt. Now, I don't recall EVERYTHING I said, but this is just amusing, so much so I saved it. Enjoy! (I added quite a bit from the actual little rant I did on the phone)


Custom Port-os!

Want a convenient bathroom without the use of a bathroom? Tired of your bathrooms not having windows? Well, then we have a deal for you!

Custom Port-o-potties! Any size for any place! As long as you can fit into them, we'll make them! We have a strict policy though... Not all sizes fit all. Unlike pants, we're better. We don't rip! Unless you do!

Want a custom color? That's fine! We'll make it zebra patterned, camouflage, anything you'd like! Hey, if you're that type of person who likes to show off who you are, we can do all the flag colors, even the most vibrant to show your liberal or democratic neighbor that you don't give a flying unicorn turd! We'll even throw in a custom bumper sticker of your choice!

But that's not all! Come in today and we'll give you our ultimate discount! Buy one and get the second absolutely free! BUT WAIT! WAIT! Obtain those two and get another one half off! Children sized! Or, of your choice, it doesn't matter 'cause we're practically giving these things away at this point! However, the restriction for the get one free and half off, they will NOT I repeat, NOT be custom made. You'll get whatever is in the factory, sorry! So, if it has a giant ass on it, oops! If it has a giant penis on it, oh well! Like pressed hams? Well, neither do we! If that's on there, then you'll just have to deal with it won't you? No take backsies!



Anyway, hope you enjoyed that! I had four cups of coffee that day, so I was rather wired. X3