Banter, banter, banter

Funny, when I try and make the blog more active, no one is around to be active. Kind of amusing.

And right when I decide to make a post, I don't know what to post about. Always happens. ALWAYS. >.<; Done, I guess...


NINJA SQUIRRELS!! Ooo shiny! Mine! *pounces the shiny*

Squirrel pancake anyone?

At my friend's house yesterday, my friend's brother-in-law's dog was in her room with us, getting lots of attention and such when her brother-in-law comes in too. We were planning on going to McDonald's for dinner because of her nephews and niece. So, he gave us the game plan (minus which McDonald's to go to) then started to rough house with my friend and his dog started barking at him to protect her. Of course, they were playing around but the dog was protecting my friend. I'm sitting against the wall, trying not to get in the way when my friend's newfie hops onto the bed as well to protect my friend. Well, guess where all that newfie landed... Yup. Right on top of defenseless squirrel lol

So yeah... Interesting day that's for sure.

Sometimes school can be quite amusing...

Today in learning strats some people were having a conversation. I didn't hear the beginning of it but this is what I did hear...

Dude in class: I've been cuffed but I've never been taken away.

Teacher: So have I but never by the police.

XD I couldn't help it but laugh my arse off after that one.

gahhhh pie's going crazy here

Grrrr *snorklesnortgrumf* need....chocolate.....can't carry on without chooocccooolllaaaatee *drools a puddle on the floor the falls over twitching and laughing manically*

Yes that's right, I have a problem and I'm willing to admit it. I am a chocaholic.

Showers and toilets... *grumbles*

Don't mind me err just sitting here dripping wet in towels...yes I know I'm a soggy pie, but the soggy pie needs a little ranter banter time.

So first of all about a week ago, I'm just relaxing enjoying a leisurely long, hot shower when I hear my stepmom hollering out my name. I was thinking in the back of my mind "oh great, what did I forget to do now?" Two seconds I hear her stomping up the stairs and she bursts into my room and slams open my bathroom door while I'm still in the shower (yes she has absolutely no respect for my personal privacy and it drives me gnome-nuts). Her shirt is half soaked and her face is a fuming red balloon. She then demands that I turn off the shower and get out. She proceeds to yell at me because apparently there is a great big pool of water in the basement right below where my shower is and the ceiling is soaking wet and obviously water damaged. And even worse, this happened while she was on the exercise bike and the water rained down right on top of her. I appologize for what happened and try not to laugh, although in reality the situation isn't that funny because I'm now going to be showerless for lord knows how long. Ok now you're all thinking "eww stinky pie can't bathe." Nah it's not really that bad...yet.

I now have the *cough* pleasure of using the basement shower. Now let me tell you, that thing is a mean monster. It bit my hand the first time I went to close the door, rendering my left thumb almost unusable. The thumb has since recovered though, thank god. But let me tell you, the shower has a mind of it's own. The door is clear glass and every time you go to open it, it bangs into the toilet or your leg if you're not so lucky. I swear to god, it's just gonna shatter on me one of these days and make me bleed to death. Also, the door does not have a very tight seal on it and it freaking leaks all over the place. Today I stepped out of the shower only to find the bathroom floor one large puddle which I nearly slipped and broke my arse in. It also takes forever for the water to heat up to a bearable temperature. Imagine, when the temperature is the basement is about 10 degrees, hopping into the shower to escape the chillies only to be sprayed by icy cold water. Grrr let me tell you, it is not in the least bit pleasant and relaxing.

Ok enough about the demon shower, now for the toilet. Well the toilet got plugged once again and I had to reach for the plunger and start plunging. This toilet is so gross though cos every time you go to plunge it, it burps back icky toilet water right in your face. That comode cannot take a very large load because even the slightest bit of toilet paper has it nearly choking to death and exploding all over the place. Thank god it's never spilled it's contents on to the floor and I really hope that it never does.

Ok I think I'm done now with my bathroom rambling. Pie's out.

Funny story...

Okay, here it is...


I was walking down the street, on my way to my good friend's coffee shop. Which was about ten minutes away or so within walking distance. The next thing I know, a teenager comes running up the street, huffing, puffing and whining, "Oh, I think I pulled something! Ouch, I did pull something!" and I'm just walking down the sidewalk, minding my own business, thinking of random squirrely thoughts when this kid's friend comes shuffling around the corner. A bush, about knee high, was blocking my view until the kid shuffles around it. The reason why he was shuffling... His pants were at his ankles. Swear to God, his pants were at his ankles. I had to look away so I wouldn't burst into laughter and embarrass the poor kid any further. Once I rounded the corner and got a little further up, I stopped and laughed my ass off. It was SO funny.

Yes, this really happened. I'm not kidding. It was HILARIOUS. Although no one but me saw it, the mental image is still fairly priceless. xD

Zombierific dates for your brain nomming pleasure

Ok yeah, this was inspired by an epic chat with my buddy at school. This is what boredom and procrastination during spares brings...

Candidate Number One: Here we have a one-of-a-kind wee fellow. He enjoys havin' a pint (of brains that is) at the friendly neighbourhood pub (morgue). This lad will thrill you and perhaps chill you in ways you've never known possible. What is under that kilt well now that is for you to find out. You two will be blowin' the bagpipes all night long, while he shoves your brains in the cooker.

Candidate Number Two: Whoa man, this guy is totally trippin! Check out his dope dreads and his wicked hemp gear. He would be delighted to go fly, erm, get high with a kite or maybe an acoustic guitar at the park. He'll also introduce you to some of his rad flesh eating friends, who you will enjoy a lovely connection with nature with. Don't worry, this guy likes to keep things natural so you will partake in a good ol' fashioned game of pass the glass vause aroung and giggle. You will be so distracted with your inner mind experience that you will not notice him stumbling up behind you with his teeth bared ready for some brain games.

Candidate Number Three: If the first two didn't suit your fancy, maybe you're more into the ladies, then this sweetheart is for you. This darling has everything needed to tease you and please you till the night is through. Watch as she smoothes herself down with sensous body oil and tantalizing chocolate sauce dripping down every curve of her fleshy figure. If you're good, she may even let you have a little taste. This is the point where your brains get excited and gooey and are the perfect texture and consistency for her to enjoy in a delectable meal for...one.

If you have any more potential blood thirsty brain munchers, leave a brief description of them in the comments and they will be added to the list.

Gotta love being random....

Today my friend was randomly talking about losing weight and I told her...


Squirrel: You know, my brother-in-law told me a really good weight loss program on Mother's Day.

Friend: Oh? What's that?

Squirrel: Pretend like your budget for food is $50

Friend: Yeah, those celebrities can afford to just stop eating...

Squirrel: Liposuction, why sweat it out when you can suck it out?

Friend: Oh... My... GOD! You're sick!

Squirrel: What? That's likely their motto anyway. Besides, I'm sure it's true.

Friend: That gave me such a mental image! You're not allowed to speak the rest of the day!

Squirrel: ... *snicker*

Friend: ...What?

Squirrel: Liposuction... *snickergiggle*

Friend: ...SHOISH!


Main reason why squirrels shouldn't be allowed to drink anything with caffeine in it.

Trifecta of evil

Now why doors cause there knobbits you got it they bite ya and make ya bled they make you run into them

The doors are vile you got me there are so many lost to the door

I nearly wokked the mighty bob him self thinking he was a vile gnome but as he said

"Bob's war machine moves again, greater and bobbier then ever" (side note bob or captain bob is the nickname I gave to a close friend many many years ago)


oh wait...I HAVE A MIGHTY NEED TO USE THE BATHROOOM...*runs off*

....three and a half hours later....MY BUSINESS IS DONE


now then quick Computer take me the weasels

now that is all from the wolf *gnome comes running in and spears me in the gut*

Owww my squeedly spooch

You do not know me I am a invader and Invader’s blood marches through my veins like giant, radioactive rubber pants! The pants command me! Do not ignore my veins!"


Now then you see *looks at the floor* hi floor! Make me a sandwich!"

now I feel all dirty quick were is the soap mighty slave squirrel pass me the soap

*takes soap and rubs self with it*....pauses hey why is there bacon in my soap...slave squirrel replies I made it my self.

ends this post with hey all Im gonna sing ya the doom song now

Doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom...wont keep on going its five minutes long

hahaha this is a mighty post and my business is done

hmmm mook...mookie wtf is a mook?

....I was digging around in the zombie ate my goblins archives...thought I would share this ...since will I should post and be somewhat joyful.

What is a mook?

a mook tends to have a certain look

they act like monkeys and don't know how to cook

and they really like a book

and they would really like a book

about a nook

a mook is here and there

tend to be everywhere

in your house

in your home

You can even find them in rome

or the saddledome or even lacombe

mooks love to eat and have a treat

but not be on there feet all the time

A mook loves to be royal

never to foil in toil

and is very loyal to spongebob

maybe even be heard saying "trouble trouble toil and boil"

then can faintly be heard going who's toenail is this

oh how vile as they pile

heck they even like shiny tiles

and then they are gone just like that

no not nestling away in bacon fat

For a mook is secretly out there hiding among the gnomes

safely tucked away in our homes

The ADHD ferret!

Please don't kill me for this one Wolf ^_^

Just too funny...

Gender confusion...

This is a funny story that happened to me last week.


I was riding home with one of my friends. Her mom was driving and she decided to be in the back seat (my friend) with her dog, while I was up front. Well, we stopped at a stoplight and the next thing I know, about four or five teenage guys in the car beside us, blaring their music, were laughing and such. Well, I hear one of them yell out, "HEY HOMIIIEEE!" then they all start laughing again. (I had my window down) They pull up a little further and a couple seconds later or so, they scream, "HEY BABAAYYYY!" realizing that I wasn't a boy. I was a girl. I'm laughing, not making any eye contact and slowly roll my window up.


It was funny.

A cute lil term paper

I wrote this a while ago for english and just re-discovered it today. Figured I should share it with you guys, might provide a bit of entertainment :)

Dominance and Your Furry Friends

If you are a pet owner, you have probably noticed this with your four legged friend. You have probably noticed that he or she likes to have a certain degree of dominance and control over the household. This behaviour can manifest itself in many different ways. It is often most apparent in dogs because every dog has the ancestry of the wolf. Wolves thrive on dominant and submissive behaviour. In a wolf pack, there is usually one alpha-male so to say who is the leader of the pack. He has the most dominance and control over what goes on. There are also others who have a certain role of dominance and ones who have a more submissive role. Most commonly it is the males who are more dominant and the females who are more submissive. Domestic pet dogs possess these ancestristic roles as do other household pets. As with wolves, it is usually the male pets who are more dominant than the females, but that isn’t always the case.

I would like to share with you an instance of this interesting and often comical behaviour that I have observed with our two Great Danes Bones and Tango. Bones and Tango where two of the tightest dog mates I have come across in my time. Bones was an abnormally large, very mild mannered sweetheart. He was the type of pooch who would greet you at the door with whining and tail wagging but he would never attempt to jump up on you and would rarely ever lick your face. He was always extremely friendly to visitors in the household and would rarely ever display any aggression towards them. He preferred spending his days lounging around on the couch and trying to mooch food off his human friends. He would much rather prefer to suntan on the back deck than go for a brisk walk around the park. He was not exactly what you call “dominant.”

Tango on the other hand, is something of a completely different type. She’s probably about 50 pounds lighter than Bones was and is a dwarf compared to him. That doesn’t stop her from displaying her in-your-face attitude and not quite lady-like manners. Tango has a pretty big ego and she is not scared to show everyone else how much better she is than them. She enjoys playing rough games of tug-of-war and jumping on you and showering your face with slobber. Whenever we attempt to take her out for walks, which we have learned not to do very often, she tries to “doggy dominate” (if you know what I mean) every other dog we came across. Whenever her and Bones would wrestle, she always had to be the one on top. Tango clearly has a very dominant role and Bones was definitely the submissive one. Sadly, our dear Bones passed on a little over a year and a half ago and we miss him greatly. Tango still continues to display her dominance, and although she has calmed down significantly, she is still the Queen of our household.

Fishie!

Oh now Wolf, aren't you damn lucky...you've gotten yourself landed with a fish. Now what you want to do with him is up to you but here you go...

Oh yeah, if anybody else wants a balloon animal, just ask me and I'll gladly make you one :P

What do dogs do when they run away?

Ok so earlier I let my dog out and i told my brother to let him in and went to my room and did homework. Well my dog never barked to come in so my brother never thought to and thats understandable. The reason my dog didnt bark is he ran away and came back like 45 minutes later all dirty. Also earlier tonight he threw up all over the carpet. Does he think he can do anything he wants when my mom and dad leave town??

hello

I am robyn alanas friend I am sure most of you know me i have joined the blog now

Response to an article I read

No I'm not doing this for a school project or anything, I'm doing it cos I enjoy to and I'm a dork like that :P

Last month's issue of Outlooks (the gay magazine) contains an article entitled "The Art of Changing Perceptions". In the article, the author is essentially fearing that gay activism and culture is disolving into the mainstream and he fears it will soon be non-existant. This he says is due to several factors including the fact that society as a whole is becoming alot more tolerant of sexual and gender diversity. He also states that young gay artists these days prefer not to be out, not because of fear, but because they feel that the fact that they're gay really isn't that important. They view themselves as being no different than straight artists.

Wait stop slow down there a second...did he just say that being gay is no different than being straight? Isn't this what queer communties have been fighting for over many generations for many, many years? From the time of the rise of the first gay activist group and the first political statement, isn't that what we've been fighting for? Sure things aren't 100 percent equal for gays and straights alike around the world, but in some parts, they don't even have gender equality.

A little while ago at my school, there was this gay guy and he was being very annoying and rubbing the fact that he was gay, so he deserved "special treatment" right in my face. I quickly got quite impatient with him so I told him to shut up and cool it with the gay stuff. He then proceeded to lecture me on what a homophobe I was and how I should be more "accepting". I just told him listen buddy you have no idea of my background or who I am. I am probably one of the most accepting people you'll meet. Maybe you should take a look at how you are presenting yourself and you'll get better treatment. I flashed him my rainbow keychain and walked away and from what I could tell, he had a pretty dumb look on his face.

It seems that within the gay activist community, there is never peace. Even though we've got it pretty damn good in our time and age, there are people out there fighting for everything to be served for us on a silver platter. I mean c'mon guys, even straights don't have it that good. Why can't we be happy that we've finally gotten what we wanted? I know that queer culture is important and film festival and parades and plays are great fun but to me, they seem no different than a music festival. Just a bunch of people who all have something in common and who all support the cause coming together to have some fun. It doesn't neccisarly mean that the whole message and flamboyancy has to carry on into everyday life. It's just like say Ozzy fans dressing up for Oz-Fest and acting a certain way for the concert because they're very excited. You don't see them dressing and acting that way every day. Same goes with gay pride parades. Afterwards, people go back to their everyday lives and dissolve back into normal functioning members of society. But yet there are people who fight to keep that flambouyancy alive on a day to day basis. In my opinion, I think that's what provokes people to make homophobic remarks. The fact that we're acting so silly and setting ourselves apart from society.

The point I'm trying to make here is this. Now that gays have gained acceptance within the mainstream and are no longer treated differently, I think that we should be happy about it. We should be happy going through life not being seen and treated any differently than our straight neighbours. Special attention is no longer needed because people see us for who we are as people and not our sexual orientation. We're finally getting what we've asked for.

Just had to...

Sorry Julie, just had to post this... It was so random and funny. I know it's a part of your game, but I still nearly fell over laughing.


[20:51] §ilentWolf we all fade away someday: okay so i got a weird glitch in my game where my char is not even on the toilet which is used to make organic muck
[20:51] §ilentWolf we all fade away someday: i was walking around helping my guild out
[20:52] §ilentWolf we all fade away someday: when i stopped and went you know what im gonna reboot cause my has the shits happening here im making muck when im not even on the toliet
[20:52] RiC@ : radioactive rubber pants!!: ...Organic muck, huh? o-0
[20:52] RiC@ : radioactive rubber pants!!: Lmao
[20:52] RiC@ : radioactive rubber pants!!: Nice...
[20:53] RiC@ : radioactive rubber pants!!: Wrong, but funny
[20:53] RiC@ : radioactive rubber pants!!: Making alright lmao sorry shutting up
[20:59] §ilentWolf we all fade away someday: lol

Why?

What is the motive behind war? I just don't get it. Why must we fight and take innocent lives and die ourselves just because of a little conflict? What ever happened to talking it out and resolving conflict in a civil adult manner? People are always getting hastled for acting "childish" in every day life, which I find quite ironic because if you look at the big picture of things, countries are fighting and using violence and killing each other just to show how big and powerful they are. Sounds quite childish to me. Bullying each other all in the name of power and pride. It's nothing but a waste of lives. Are countries really that selfish that they have to go and take away the lives of each other's citizens?

We're watching Saving Private Ryan in class right now and I'm fairly disgusted and upset by the images I am seeing. Seeing soldiers shooting each other down like it's a freaking video game. It's just so...horrifying and sad. When a man's life is taken away, it not only affects him directly, it rips apart the lives of his family and his friends. One gunshot can have so much impact. Seeing the water stained red by all the blood. Blood for such an avoidable cause. Lives taken in vain for one's country. Are those lives lost really going to make a difference in resolving the conflict?

War doesn't solve problems, it only exaserbates them. At the end, when two leaders are sitting there with all their patriots and civilians lying on the ground, dead, will the problem really be fixed? The answer is, no. War is only a way of hiding what the real problems are. Because we're too stupid to pull our heads out of our asses and make compromises, we have to settle for killing each other. How pathetic is that? It's pretty much saying you don't like somebody? Well then just go out and shoot them in the face, then they won't bother you anymore. It's fucking disgusting, but it's just the human disease. We humans by nature are power hungry and it just takes too much effort to work things out so the easiest thing to do is go out and eliminate our competition. But have you ever noticed that it never works in the end? The competion usually bites back three times as hard and gets us right in the ass. Either that or karma comes back to get us. There's never a way a war can occur without serious and avoidable repercusions.

I wonder if there will ever be a time when war becomes obsolete. Will we ever beable to see what fucking idiots we are and see that war just doesn't work?