silentwolf,「яiC@♥。」,Aj the pie,Mia_Maxride,emmer mayonegg,El-Mango

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Hehe

Ah the random lengths I'll go to cheer my girlfriend up. She was pissed off at a doctor the other day, because he was talking down to her and all that crap, so when she called me and told me she had to do something (she did a couple weeks ago, I won't mention it) AGAIN, I went off on a random little hyper spurt. Now, I don't recall EVERYTHING I said, but this is just amusing, so much so I saved it. Enjoy! (I added quite a bit from the actual little rant I did on the phone)


Custom Port-os!

Want a convenient bathroom without the use of a bathroom? Tired of your bathrooms not having windows? Well, then we have a deal for you!

Custom Port-o-potties! Any size for any place! As long as you can fit into them, we'll make them! We have a strict policy though... Not all sizes fit all. Unlike pants, we're better. We don't rip! Unless you do!

Want a custom color? That's fine! We'll make it zebra patterned, camouflage, anything you'd like! Hey, if you're that type of person who likes to show off who you are, we can do all the flag colors, even the most vibrant to show your liberal or democratic neighbor that you don't give a flying unicorn turd! We'll even throw in a custom bumper sticker of your choice!

But that's not all! Come in today and we'll give you our ultimate discount! Buy one and get the second absolutely free! BUT WAIT! WAIT! Obtain those two and get another one half off! Children sized! Or, of your choice, it doesn't matter 'cause we're practically giving these things away at this point! However, the restriction for the get one free and half off, they will NOT I repeat, NOT be custom made. You'll get whatever is in the factory, sorry! So, if it has a giant ass on it, oops! If it has a giant penis on it, oh well! Like pressed hams? Well, neither do we! If that's on there, then you'll just have to deal with it won't you? No take backsies!



Anyway, hope you enjoyed that! I had four cups of coffee that day, so I was rather wired. X3

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Too much caffeine

Bwahahahaha! *throws a little plastic egg, that splits into two* Wuffie I choose you! XD

I've had too much time to just... THINK. And the illegal caffeine in my squirrelly system isn't helping either! I took funny pictures in case they haven't been noticed or anything on Facebook yet. :D

One was inspired by the rapture, and the other was my mom. Wow, my mom is bad for my creative mind, I swear!

http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d74/AlexisSapphire06/?action=view&current=101_0166.jpg

Hehe! And the one my mom inspired...

http://s33.photobucket.com/albums/d74/AlexisSapphire06/?action=view&current=101_0172.jpg

RANDOM LIVES OOOOOON! *chitters!* Caffeeeeeeeiiine!

Friday, May 6, 2011

Coffee random!

Caffeine puts the Zippity in my Doodah!

Coffee, COFFEE, coffee, coffee, coffee, COFFEE, coffee, coffee, COFFEE, COFFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Give me!!

WARNING: I cannot be held responsible for the things I say or do before the caffeine has fully made it to my blood stream.

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More to come later! X3

Saturday, April 30, 2011

This just in...

I was talking to rikers arilla of littleton.....when I started thinking and typed this out.

I got it....mother nature has hit menopause the reason why Snow=sudden cold flash,WildFires=hot flashes,Earthquakes=Cramps,Tornados=some form of unwanted gastronomical events and Tsunamis = sudden fits of crying


her reply..


Mother Nature: Way of life? Or chaos? Her menopause has whirled out of control, and she has no more meds. The earthquakes are her massive cramps. Tsunamis are bawling spells. The wildfires are the bad heartburn and hot flashes. Blizzards are her chilly cold flashes. Tornados can be devistating tummy upsets: they don't happen often, but when they do they cause mayhem and destruction. Somebody get her some midol before we're all doomed!



Yep I went there....that is all hope all of you had a good easter

Monday, March 28, 2011

I knight Thee.......(random things said on facebook)

Julie:
I knight thee.....Rikers ardilla of littleton

Rica:
Littleton, huh? Funny... There's a Littleton in this state. X3; Why not ardilla of the acorns? Hazelnuts? And the non-dairy creamer!?

Julie:Because then it would be rikers ardilla of acornaazelnut of the non dairy creamer once formerly known as littleton and that's to much to type so Rikers ardilla of littleton it is ....or is it >.>

Rica:Lmao! I think that would be quite the mouthful and would be worthy of copy and paste

Julie:I swear once your mother reads my post insanity yet again she's going to confirm that yes....yes Rica has crazy friends or for the lack of better their all crazy....

Rica:Lol you said it not me. XDD I know my friends have screws loose. :P

Julie:wait you calling me crazy how dare you call me crazy you are rikers ardilla of littleton I thought you have a lil more manner then that oh how a brute thou are .......

also gravity why art thou such a bitch

Sunday, March 27, 2011

...

Goodness gracious great berries of white yogurt! It's sour without the berries! Like it's been sitting out in the hot, hot sun! Like zombies that have been baking in the sun for a few hours. Rancid, very, very rancid! And with berries... I don't know if it truly helps mask the flavor any. The yogurt even has little raspberry hairs in it! ...Hairy yogurt. Ew!

Saturday, March 26, 2011

STUPIIIID!

"You're so stuuupiiiiiid!!"


Stupid people... Like those idiots who put their hands on a hot stove, yell ouch and then go and do it again? Idiots that can't be fixed with duct tape. The kind of stupid that melts duct tape in hot, hot summers in Phoenix, AZ. Yup... We're not dealing with any ordinary stupid. We're dealing with inbred stupidity. Stupid that's been dropped on its head one too many times to get dain bramage! (Quote my dad) Yep... The stupid of stupid...

The stupid you can't scrape off the sidewalk. The kind of stupid you find under your shoe, that's sticky and gross like bubble gum! The kind of stupid that makes us all feel 100% smarter by association... Even if we're miles away. We see somebody jay walking, and we feel almost like an astronaut for using the crosswalk!

Okay, I'm done. Really...lol

CAFFEINE! ...Only had one cup today. No more, no less. So caffeine is still in my system. Woo!

Zombies... They're... After me lucky charms! And you know what?

...I'm sure if you fed that rabbit some Trix he'd lay up. Puke, or die. Either way, share and he'll leave ya alone! Unless he's that mouse... Don't give a mouse a cookie or he'll raid your pantry and cupboards looking for more food until you have nothing left! NOTHIIIING!

And I've been watching too much Zim... Can ya tell? XD

I want something sweet... And wine! Mm wine sounds good only because there's no other alcohol in this entire house! DX

DON'T FEED THE RABBIT! DON'T FEED THE RABBIT! x.x

And don't hit a squirrel, you know every time you hit a squirrel a 40 year old nerd living in his mom's basement gets laid? THINK OF THE SQUIRRELS!!

SANITY BREAKER!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi,how's it going huh miss me oooo has the bloggers missed me....okay maybe rica I know she misses me and if she didn't then


NYAH you can not have my cinnamon waffles of nom or my toast or my other waffles....or my oatmeal.

you know what I got to say to most BAD LLAMA because even if we are all adults now living or working or going to school or all the above relax find a little time to post.


pssst shakey shakey rawr there is NO WAY out from this mad house

hmmm how about a little ditty....


I

Love Optical Situations That

Throughly Help Everything

Going Around Me Evolving


What did that not make any sense at all...psst here`s a hint read only the Capital
letters in the above possible mini haiku

Tip tip cheerio I shall be signing off now

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Nut Spray

Prescription Flonase: Nut Deterrent (Nut Spray)

*it's being said in a Billy Maze sort of sale's pitch tone*

Deter any guy from wanting to expose his nuts, while in the process deterring other women from wanting to get within a five mile radius of said nuts that have been sprayed! It will, to another woman, (and smell a different odor to each individual) like something that they wouldn't want to smell!

Scents include, and are not limited to: Underarm pit, garbage, bad tacos, rotten hamburger meat, rotten 3 week old fish, feet, athlete's foot, poop, cow's rear, rotten garbage, etc!

Airport security; TSA will not want to get within five feet of you or less, because the best part about this stuff is, it deters everybody! Yes, you heard me, EVERYBODY! It's not used for just the men's testicles, but for everybody wanting to be left the hell alone!


(BEHIND THE INSIDE JOKE):

Prescription nasal spray to help with headaches, while wanting to buy assorted nuts also. Life ain't a bowl of assorted cashews, but nut deterrent also!

AND THAT'S NOT ALL!

Best for squirrels who don't want other pesky squirrels to attempt to steal their nuts! Just spray, and sit back and watch the fun unfold before your very eyes! NOBODY WILL WANT TO GET NEAR YOU NOR YOUR NUTS! Assuring you, that you'll have a full tree, or whatever for the upcoming winter, spring, sports event, etc.

BUY NOW FOR ONLY TEN DOLLARS!! (LITERALLY!!)

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

How would you handle a zombie invasion?

This is my solution.....

Step one throw some bread....if they grunt out GRAAAAAIIIINNNSSS I'm safe there only vegan

Step Two run to my gun cabinet and grab as many guns as I can with and as many ammo boxes I can shove into a corner

Step Three Grab coffee table and slam it against the door followed by a mass supply of duct tape....for umm vanity sakes

Step Four call Kiba and tell him to hurry up and get as many as he can out of Lonetiggs armory

Step Five if that Fails ....will when all else fails just blow it up again ....and again...till there is either certain death or a huge crater in the ground
__________________

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Quick and simple solution

"Boob punch, all I'm saying," and I said, "Simple, quick and easy solution for everything. Can't fix it? Boob punch it! Can't throw it away? Boob punch it! Is it just flat out dull and annoying you? BOOOOB PUUUUUNCH!!"

...

OH GAWD I HAVE SINNED!!! ...DECAAAAAAF! ...But the coffee god still likes me, right? Right? ...I won't be put on the burner for it REALLY... Will I? x.x

Monday, January 17, 2011

Gnomes

Gnomes: The great chocolate battle


The night fell like a blanket across the meadow, dreary like the darkest corner of the darkest cave. Not a sound was to be heard. Not even a cricket stirred. The gnomes were planning battle, against... The elves. The elves, were peaceful, kindhearted and loved to bake. The gnomes... Wanted the cookies, all to themselves. Elves and gnomes didn't get along, it seemed. Always arguing, and bickering and hoarding things for themselves.
Stars above in the sky, twinkled and sparkled dazzlingly. In the tree of the elves they were happily baking away, not a care in the world. None of them knew of the dangers lurking just outside their woodland home. The air smelled of freshly baked cookies, cakes and pies of the pastry variety. Blueberry, strawberry, even pomegranate. Elves baked anything their taste buds thought tasty and sweet.
Suddenly, from out of nowhere, their lookout atop the tree cried out, "The gnomes! The gnomes!" this brought all the elves from their happy little zones, to the real world. To reality. Danger was approaching? Couldn't be! The gnomes were, should all be fast asleep in their beds on their side of the meadow! The elves, however, had baking to do. And lots of it. It was in their blood! They had to bake.
"The gnomes are coming!" the lookout shouted once again from the lookout post.
"Yes, Steve, we hear you!" The elves from inside the tree squeaked.
The dark seemed to swarm over them, as the distant shouting of angry gnomes seemed to get louder. They were angry. And hungry. For elf flesh, and their pastries fresh from the oven. Everywhere were gnomes. Hundreds of them, no, thousands of them! They were coming in from all sides! All angles! The grass was nowhere to be seen, the elves... Would near admit defeat.
"Two arms! Two arms!" Another elf shouted from inside the tree. Soon all the elves were scrambling like little ants with their heads cut off, trying to find their weapons. To ready themselves for battle. Defense against the oncoming hoards of gnomes.
Screams everywhere were heard, as the battle raged on throughout the night. Blood spilled and chocolate burned inside the tree. The ovens were left on, as the elves ran into battle. What they were hoping to defend against the gnomes, would soon burn down to the ground. In the midst of battle, the tree, the beloved tree the elves once called home for many a century in the past, was now caught on fire. Elves who were not fighting, were scrambling to get out of the tree, which was now burning like a dragon's breath, hot against the cold bloody night.
The flames grew higher, and the hearts of the elves sank deeper. All over the ground there were elf and gnome alike. Hats broken, armor cracked and pierced. The once rumored chocolate or raspberry filling of the elves' blood, was splattered on the cool green grass. It wasn't cake filling, nor pie filling. It was now cold blood.
Gnomes cried out and shrieked. The calls and cries could be heard all throughout the valley. No one dared to enter the field now, as the battle was nearing to an end. The flames from the tree, illuminated the ground, every little corner, every little blade of grass, and ever crease on clothing could be seen as hearts broke and shattered.
"The cookies!" cried a gnome, who had not died.
"The cake!" yet another bawled.
Their efforts, were in vein! Flames were nearly dieing down, as the fire was put out by mother nature's chilling breath. That breath, which swept over the now quiet meadow. Mother nature had made sure not to let the fires spread to the meadow itself, or anything else. Could it be that she was trying to prove a point? Needless fighting, killing and quarreling would now be brought to a screeching halt.
In the dead of the night, as gnomes and elves wept tears of utter sorrow and loss, crickets would be heard. Some quietly at first, then they would echo and roar. As if to tell the gnomes to leave, to leave and not return to the meadow.

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Aaaaand my creative juice just died. Can't think of anything else. Hope you like the chocolate battle! Could have been more detailed, but eh... I think I used a lot of the same words too frequently. Next time I should make it from a gnome's perspective. That would be amusing, I think.

The gnomes... Live on, as the tree burns. Burns. BURNS!!


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~RiC@

Thursday, January 13, 2011

NEW BOOK

I found the most hilarious book at the book store today. It caught my attention and made me laugh my head off!

The book's title is, "It's not PMS... It's just you!" in the shape of a big Hershy bar. Some of the stuff inside the book was even better, actually caught my attention. If I had the money, I'd have bought it. Underneath the title was, "A totally non-hormonal analysis of male behavior"

Funny stuff...

One part had a quote, "If a button exists, it will be pushed"


"Seriously. Have you ever walked by a button and not pushed it just to see what would happen, or NOT clicked on a hyperlink online just to see where it would take you? Of course not! Or how about when you're waiting for an elevator: how many times have you seen someone walk up to the button, see that it's already been pushed but push it anyway?"

That's all I got, I BS'd the last sentence, because when I took the picture, it cut off the rest of that sentence.

It's a very amusing book. Like I said, if I had the money, I would have bought it. And read it all by now, it's a very interesting and hilarious book.

Well... Just thought I would share some humor! And more humor being... My new 2011 calender my friend got me. "Ferret Fairy Tales" they're sooooo adorable!

Peace for nao!

Friday, January 7, 2011

For wuff

After finding out the sad news about Kit, I proceeded to make something for her, to remember the little carpet shark for when that time does in fact come in the future. Wanted to for Christmas, but it completely spaced my blond brain, but... Here it is! Hope you like..

Made it myself! (Of course I got the frame picture from a real frame online, but eh.. Enjoy anyway!)

Photobucket

Always,

Squirrel

Thursday, January 6, 2011

BEWARE!!

Coming soon to a theater near you! D:

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

This just in....BREAKING NEWS

OMFG what ...huh oh...false alarm guess what the wuff is back and the wuff is working on a whole load new video..or two or eleventeen bahahahah


been super busy with work and school....yep that's right school >.< iccky ba ba



*insert random noises here* baaaaaaaaaaa sheepy a beepy


ps who's missed me ps here's a hint rica and I are working on a whole new revise of the coffee commandments are you ready for it..ARE YA....HUUUUU RAHHHH

Coffee commandments

I'll eventually do all of my own, unless wuff decides to do so. Anyway, enjoy!




Yup.